How to Tell When Someone Is Doing It

Future faking is a deceptive strategy that entails making empty promises about the future to create a false sense of intimacy between partners. Individuals with narcissistic tendencies often employ future faking as a means of manipulation. They may prematurely discuss a shared future to make you feel more emotionally invested in the relationship.

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How to Tell When Someone Is Doing It

To address future faking, it is important to ask for specific details when your partner makes grand plans that seem too good to be true, and to call them out when they fail to follow through on their promises.

Future faking occurs when someone deceitfully makes commitments about the future.
This tactic is frequently utilized by individuals with narcissistic traits in their romantic relationships, although it can be employed by others as well. Essentially, a future faker will rapidly outline elaborate plans for a future together, creating an illusion of closeness and manipulating you into developing an emotional bond. However, these promises are never fulfilled as the purpose is merely to entice your investment in the relationship.
Example 1: Throughout your relationship, your partner consistently talks about a European vacation but continually finds excuses to postpone booking the trip.
Example 2: You and your partner have discussed marriage and children, but despite several years passing, they have not proposed and consistently delay the topic whenever you bring it up.
Example 3: Your spouse acknowledges your request to stop working late, promising to make an effort, but continues the same pattern without change.
Future faking can also occur in professional settings. For instance, your boss might promise you a raise, but when you inquire about it later, they always have a reason for the delay.

The relationship progresses at an unusually rapid pace.
While there is no fixed timeline for relationships, it is uncommon for couples to discuss month-long romantic vacations or profess their love within the first few weeks of dating. If you have only been dating someone for a brief period, and they repeatedly and frequently talk about a future together, it could be a sign of future faking.
If you are involved with a narcissist, they are likely to engage in future faking. Narcissists tend to rush the early stages of a relationship and expedite intimacy as a subtle way to manipulate their partner into forming an emotional attachment.
For instance, a narcissistic future faker might say things like, "I can envision a lifetime with you!" or "You are exactly the kind of person I want to marry someday!" during the initial dates.

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Being on the receiving end of future faking can make you feel like the protagonist in a magical fairy tale. A narcissistic future faker often employs extravagant declarations to convince you that your relationship is extraordinary, even if you have not been together for long. However, this is merely a tactic to bombard you with affection and adoration, enticing you to become more deeply involved in the relationship.
For example, you might hear statements like, "I have never felt this way about anyone else before" or "There was an instant soulmate connection when we met."
Love-bombing and idealization are prevalent patterns in narcissistic relationships. Love-bombing involves manipulating someone through excessive praise, flattery, and intense romantic attention.

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